Rejection slip to a Publisher?

Of course, it is part of your dues as a writer to get enough rejection slips to wallpaper an entire room.  But have you ever wanted to turn the tables?  Some years ago, a fellow writer sent me this:

Dear Publisher,

Thank you for your rejection of my short story “Rain” dated October 22.  After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to publish my short story at this time.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your literary magazines outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting submissions, I find that your rejection isn’t quite right for my needs at this time.  Therefore, “Rain” will be published in your next edition.  Please keep in mind that this is a subjective process and that my opinion does not reflect the opinion of all writers.

Best of luck in rejecting future submissions.


 Writer Extraordinaire

“Don’t start reading Leveille’s book at breakfast if you want to get to work on time.” -CBC Voyage North, Thunder Bay, Ontario